Meditation
by Pinky1919
Summary: Thane receives a visitor during his daily meditations at Huerta Memorial Hospital. *ME3 spoilers* (My first ME oneshot after a long, LONG hiatus from writing fanfiction. I just had to get this scene out of my head to rationalize Thane's storyline in ME3, and to give myself peace lol)


"Irikah…" Her name fell from his astonished lips as the light reflected from her scaled skin. It seemed to dance, flames of illumination licking her skin and swaying, flickering, as if they couldn't stay away.

She smiled gently. "Thane…" Her hand reached forward and he felt his eyes slide closed as she trailed her fingers over the skin of his cheek. Peace seemed to radiate warmth from his center, filling him with contentment. His body felt light and safe. As he felt her hand pull away, he opened his eyes to find a whimsical smile on her lips as she continued, "I am not your wife, Thane."

His brow furrowed in confusion, lips parting to question but she simply held up a finger as she dipped her chin to look at him. "You know who I am, Thane. I have wished to speak with you for a long, long time. But I could not. Not without changing the balance of things. But I have been with you. I would like to think you have felt that."

Thane's eyes widened and her smile turned knowing as the recognition and surprise shown on his face.

"Arashu," he said simply and her smile widened.

"Indeed," she said, a small bow of introduction as the light surrounding her seemed to pulse. Her warmth filled him, his pulse a steady drum as he watched her, the Goddess herself in the form of his late wife.

"You wonder why I took her shape," she said simply, reaching forward to take his hand. "You loved her very much." Her fingers drew a line across his knuckles as she looked down to their hands. "She was one of my own, and you saw it in her. Your meeting was not chance, Thane."

"What do you mean?" It came out a whisper. Almost too low for his own ears to hear.

She looked up at him but kept his hand, her touch soft. "Your siha was sent to find you. Without her, you would have never left your battle sleep, you would never have known intimacy, known love," she paused and frowned slightly. "You never would have known loss."

"I don't understand."

Arashu released his hand and stood straight, her eyes soft and kind as she continued. "Thane, for millennia I have watched as the Reapers harvested my children, ushering them to the sea far before their time. I knew that _their_ time would come to an end eventually and that my children would have part in it. I saw to it. The one you love, your siha. _She_ will stop it."

"From the moment you were born, your life has been preparing you for this moment. Preparing you so that you could love this woman and have her love you in return. But more importantly, your death will be what gives her the strength to do what needs to be done."

"I shall die soon, then?" He already knew the answer. If not Kepler's, then surely the Reapers would soon come. He wanted to fight. He wanted to stand with Shepard and win this war, but in his heart, he knew his time was far too soon to be of use to her.

She nodded, her features almost sad, "Yes. And you will die protecting her. It will not be easy for her to let you go, but she will. The love you shared will be what gives her the strength to continue, but it will be your absence at that final moment that allows her no hesitation."

"So she can die to save them." The conclusion was obvious and his heart sank. He didn't want that for Shepard. He wanted her to live on, to find love again. To be free of all the war and killing, start a family.

"Thane," Arashu's voice broke through his thoughts. "I know what you wish for her, but this is her destiny, as it is yours. She _will_ save them. And when she does, you will meet her to welcome her to the peace that she has so very much earned." She took his hand again and looked into his eyes.

It was so hard not to see Irikah in her face, but her eyes, no longer the color of the sunset but blue as the daytime sky, stared at him with a love he didn't quite comprehend. "You are her salvation, Thane. You have lived your life and suffered in ways no one could possibly understand, except your siha. You are the only one that can understand _her_, the only one that could love her the way she deserves. You were always meant to be, your paths leading you closer and closer until the day you must part. She knows her death is imminent, and losing you will only strengthen her resolve to do what is needed of her. She will do it for them, and she will be unafraid because she knows you will be there when the time comes."

Thane couldn't bring himself to meet her eyes. Shepard, his siha, his concerns were with her. He wondered how she would fare after he was gone, questioned if he truly would be more use to her dead. It seemed so cold, so calculated, but when she spoke of it, it almost seemed as if their deaths were their reward. And it sounded like a wonderful reward. Eternal peace with the siha that showed him what it was to truly feel again, that stood back to back with him in battle and matched him step for step. If his purpose in this life was to be the one that welcomed her at the shore, then he was not one to question it. He felt honored.

"Do you understand now, Thane? Why I had to send you down this path?"

He lifted his head and nodded. "I do. And I am honored, Goddess."

"I wanted you to understand," she smiled and squeezed his hand. "I wanted you to have peace when your time comes."

"How soon?" he asked, almost afraid to hear her answer.

Her eyes dimmed slightly as she took in the stoic look on his face, so easily reading the fear behind his eyes. "Soon, Thane."

He swallowed and nodded curtly. "Will I remember this when I awake?"

She smiled widely and stepped forward to lightly kiss his cheek. "Perhaps," she whispered and his eyes slipped closed again as she wrapped her arms around him. Her body was solid yet fleeting and when he opened his eyes, she was gone and he was back in his small hospital room on the Citadel, seated in the center of the room as he had been when he started his meditation.

He could still feel her arms around him, her warmth cradling him even as his lungs began to ache. He stood to fetch some water, the events of his meditation still stirring in his mind and that's when he heard the gunshots. His head snapped toward the glass window as he saw the Cerberus shuttles landing throughout the Citadel levels.

He had to call Shepard. Destiny, it seemed, was ready for him.


End file.
